last night I got a call from my mom at midnight (January 16th) that my dad had passed away. I'm still not exactly sure whats happening now, or why I'm telling some imaginary people who i think could actually be reading this blog, i just felt like i had to write this out. weird. my dad was always old, meaning my parents had me WAY late in their lives so in a weird way I've been preparing for this moment my whole life. i mean, when i was born just two days later my dad turned 60! i guess all i can say about it now is that my dad made me the man i am today. not the lazy glutenous parts though. but its because of him that I'm an artist, because he was one as well. but i do think i got my sense of humor because of him. hell, the biggest reason i fell in love with stand-up comedy at such a young age (about 10 or so) was because when we would all drive to Vegas in the late 80's/early 90's my dad would always make it a point to being me to the Vegas Improv at the Flamingo. yeah, that'sdefinitely when I was bit by that bug. its weird when someone passes away. in my dads case all that's really left behind is some pictures and a couple of cool lighters he had engraved with his initials "JF" (we have the same name by the way). so as cheesy as this might sound i now know fully something I've always known which is that its not WHAT we leave behind, its HOW we left it. meaning the impressions we leave, the marks we leave on life's pavement. the marks that say "goddamn it I was here. and don't you forget it". hopefully those marks are pleasant for those we leave them for, and my dad left some pretty nice ones. right now I'm feeling a lot of different things at once. I'm sad he didn't live to see me gain success or to see his grand kids, but i do think he was happy with the man i became. he better have anyway, I'm practically just like him. shit look at me, is it bad I'm making jokes? but honestly, i think he'd be laughing at that one.
Its now been a week since he passed away and I wrote the stuff above. Its been a weird week but all is well. I have lots more to say but for now I just want to put this out into a world that will probably never see it. Thank you.